Unmasking

One of the great beauties of psychotherapy is the chance to talk about the real truths of one’s life and experience.
From early on in our lives, most of us learn to hide our feelings from other people and even from ourselves. Not being able to talk about our real feelings often develops in response to the ways our parents talk to us and treat us. This often forces us to pretend that we are happy when, in fact, we are not. As the years go by, we become more and more self-protective and less and less able or willing to talk about our real feelings.
This inability to talk about our real feelings can occur with dating and other intimate relationships. An unexpected moment of disappointment, for instance, can occur and instead of expressing our disappointment, we get angry or shut down or turn away from the person and relationship.
It is scary to be vulnerable. It is also much more emotionally demanding to say, “I was disappointed” than to say,”That’s okay. It doesn’t matter, etc.” However, saying “I was disappointed” to the other person lets them in to your true feelings and opens the possibility for real communication.
The beauty of psychotherapy is that it is a safe place to talk about your real feelings: your sadness, your loneliness, your conflicts, and your dreams. In the safety of a therapist’s office you can let your guard down; no one will criticize or attack you. In my practice, I feel deeply honored to hear and see each person’s truths brought to light.
Being able to talk about all the hidden, tucked-away feelings is like raking a garden free of leaves, letting the flowers bloom in all their beauty. Talking about your inner truths lets the flower of you breathe more freely. It lets your whole being feel less constricted, more relaxed and more confident. In the long run, being truthful in therapy translates into real life. People become more articulate and truthful in their lives and more able to be respectful and receptive to others in their lives, such as partners, children and colleagues. Bit by bit, by talking, people free their true selves, and feel happier.